Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Two Butt Water Martinis on the Rocks, Please

Take a large, basin-sized martini glass.

Spray the interior with vermouth.

Fill to the rim with Bombay Sapphire gin.

Add three (or twelve, as is my preference) olives.

Now go to the bathroom.

Take a large, ahem, poop.

Wipe mostly clean with some baby wipes.

Sit in your martini glass.

Drink.

Yeah. That's about how I feel when my child hungrily gulps bathwater after a gross diaper change.

21 comments:

Crystal said...

Yes, I have never thought of it quite like that, but I am equally grossed out.

jen said...

that's quite gross, actually.

flutter said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth, a little.

mjd said...

Very funny and very gross indeed , I wondered where you were going with this.

BetteJo said...

Am I the only one laughing out loud here????? I'm crying!!

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

Disgusting! Ewwww. My girls drink the bath water. Not that we let them, but it is gross.

Anna said...

Eeew! And I say this every night..."HenRY! No drinking the bathwater!

I'm stepping up my efforts after this.

dawn224 said...

I'm with bettejo.... and it's early here.

Carrie said...

OK, that's really gross! Sadly, though, I relate. KIDS!

slouching mom said...

Ewwwww. (Mine do it too.)

dawn&brian said...

Yes, sadly the term "butt water"
(as in don't drink the..) has existed in our house for about 9 years now.

Audubon Ron said...

Well, there is certainly one thing we have in common Jen M., the love of a good Martini. Bombay up, two olives, shaken, not stirred. I got too old for that stuff, had to give it up. I start speaking in tongues. You don’t want to hear Ronbo in tongues. To my wife, “Cmere Baby! Ham-on, give daddy a kiss. Gimme a kiss BAby. Ham-on, you can do it! Ham-on Baby!” KA-THUD! Sound of bowling ball dropped on my forehead after I pass out. “How’s that for a kiss Big Daddy?”

Gonna have to one-up-man you on this one. Try climbing out of bed onto a big fresh pile of hot cat vomit and then go into the kitchen only to smell a freshly squeezed hot cat loaf in the cat box from the wash room. Ain’t no coffee aroma from a freshly made pot gonna cover that up. Right away, you gotta get in there and shovel that sand sculpture the cats made into a trash bag, rinse your ikky foot off and pick-up cat puke with paper towels before the other cat starts eating it and try not to puke yourself in the process.

T with Honey said...

*nodding in complete understanding*

Get ready for the next step when the child uses a wash cloth to wash down there and then decides to shove said wash cloth into her mouth and suck on it. Thankfully toothbrushing comes after the bath in our night time routine.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

Um, gross.

Lela said...

That was quite the description, lol! But it reminds me why I am thankful I am past the diaper days!

Mr. Fabulous said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwww....I did NOT see that coming!

Sarcasta-Mom said...

Nice mental imagry there.

I always told my kids to thing about their butts sitting in the bath water, but it never stopped them from drinking it either. Kids are just gross. lol

painted maypole said...

oh..... ewww... i had the hardest time discouraging my daughter from doing that, then I realized that I never heard of a baby dying from drinking her bath water, and tried to relax.

Your analogy is fantastic.

Oh, The Joys said...

NAY-ASS-TEE!!

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

Ew!

Mary Beth said...

Oh Dear God! That sounds revolting! It amazes me that kids make it to adulthood with what they put in their mouths! Brings a whole new meaning to "pottymouth" :)