Take a large, basin-sized martini glass.
Spray the interior with vermouth.
Fill to the rim with Bombay Sapphire gin.
Add three (or twelve, as is my preference) olives.
Now go to the bathroom.
Take a large, ahem, poop.
Wipe mostly clean with some baby wipes.
Sit in your martini glass.
Yeah. That's about how I feel when my child hungrily gulps bathwater after a gross diaper change.