Thursday, August 09, 2007

Someday

Someday I am going to be an empty nester. In my fifties, I hope to have breakfasts that are eaten while sitting down, as opposed to hurriedly consumed while simultaneously packing backpacks, looking for gymnastic leotards, trying not to step on the rabbit, and prying apart bickering siblings.

Someday I will not need to break out the calibrated scale to weigh portions of after dinner treats to ensure equal division of dessert amongst the children. I will stop fantasizing about giving one child a large cookie and the other three children smaller cookies and telling them that the larger cookie went to my favorite offspring. Just to see their reaction. In my fifties, I will be above such petty daydreams.

Someday I will be able to have sex with my husband without the paranoia of little feet running up the stairs after a bad dream and wondering how quickly I can get back to my side of the bed. Nor will the idea of sex repulse me, as my nipples will not be chewed down to nubs by the latest nursing baby. I will frolic in the marital bed with abandon, and my husband will take to telling me he has a headache, such will be my reckless, child-free appetite.

Someday, I will look at my husband and ask him what he wants to do that evening. He will answer me with nothing and that is exactly what we will do.

Someday, I will look back on these years and miss them terribly. I will beg my children for grandchildren, and I will spend the rest of my days remembering this chaos, this mess, this bliss and thanking these were indeed the glory days of my life.

15 comments:

Nancy said...

I'm 52 ans still can't find the time to sit and eat ... but I do have my first cup of coffee in bed.

The best way to divide food with kids:

one kid cuts the portions, the other kid gets first pick, you'll see how even they get cut, lol

Jen M. said...

Nancy - you're a genius. Sometimes it's the simplest solutions that save us the biggest heartache.

And don't tell me you're still busy. I want to keep pretending here that it will work out that way ;)

molly said...

Beautiful, Jen. Seriously.

Queeny said...

I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about those days. About 12 years to go for me.

Mary Alice said...

It's been 17 years since I have had sex without worrying about the pitter patter of little feet...which now actually is the slam bang of size 12 running shoes on the stairs.

The empty nest fantasy...ahhh a good one....but then again we will finally know that it was our husbands that were leaving the messes in the kitchens all along and BLAMING it on our poor innocent children.

Robin said...

I love this. Great post Jen.

Audubon Ron said...

Sex, what's that? Let me tell you what you have to look forward to after 50. Somewhere along the way a foot rub replaces your best heavy petting. You wake up on the couch with the TV on and somehow you went from the 6 o’clock news to the 10 o'clock news not remembering how you got there - then you go to bed, in your own suite (another word for a different bedroom) because she snores like a wounded bear or do I snore, one of snores and an Olympic free style wrestle occurs over the sheets because body temperatures go flinging out of control. We got two temperatures in our house, too hot or too cold. Let me know if it gets too hot for you so I can make it too cold. Finally, you’re most important discussion of the day is what to have for dinner. A glass of wine drops you for the count - for a week.

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

Beautiful post, Jen.

Sarah said...

One word: Amen

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

Eeeeew, I'm scared, I'm 46 1/2 and have 2 year olds. I'm doing some quick calculation and I don't see retirement or sex in the the anytime near future! Shit, I just hope and pray to make it to graduation!

BOSSY said...

OK, so now you've put Bossy back to bed for the week. Sigh.

Bossy only hopes that when her nest is empty she cares about food, sex, and nights on the town.

Kim said...

I found myself teary-eyed. Very moving post- I feel ya - It's strange how life works- I know I will miss these chaotic years desperately when our kids grow up and move away yet some days I too fantasize about being 50 with adult children and find myself realizing that it will be here before I know it. Then I come full circle and tell myself to embrace the chaos. I guess the grass will always be greener. I TOTALLY identify with this post- love it.

Anne Hill said...

Well, I don't really miss all those years of sleep deprivation, clothes-as-hand-towels, and charming baby faces at all. I miss having my kids close by, and I love them to pieces, but I also LOVE having more room in the nest and more time for myself.

During those years it was really important to remember to be grateful for everything as it happened. Now I'm just grateful that there's less to be grateful for, you know?

Anna said...

This was a day full of that chaos, and as I sit here recovering, it seems really quiet.

I already can't wait for tomorrow.

Thanks for a beautiful post.

carrie said...

I can't wait for someday to come!!!

Carrie