Friday, May 23, 2008

Justification for a Gin and Tonic

After a full day away from home you come home to dog poop on your rug. Did the dog poop on the miles of wood floor surrounding the rug? No. On. The. Rug.

The dog also threw up in your son's room.

You have an hour to clean it up, jump in the shower, and greet the sitter who will relieve you and your husband for a two hour date. The first date in way too long.

Your toddler hasn't napped and is clinging to your leg like a spider monkey while you clean up dog fluids.

You remember your kids have to eat dinner while you're gone so you whip up something moderately nutritious. With the spider monkey, now also part howler monkey, still attached to your leg.

You hear your older son screech, "Oh, no! Fire! Uh, FIRE!" from the guest bathroom. Apparently the lit candle, burning to help diffuse the scent of dog fluids, was the perfect opportunity to burn toilet paper...for a six year-old.

I had mine on the rocks, hold the tonic.

23 comments:

Sunshine said...

Last night I spent the night sleeping with my 4-year old. Why? Because when I was hoping to lay down and enjoy the season finale of Grey's, she was laying with me, oh, and let's not forget the barf bucket she had to use and then running to the bathroom for more barfing.

But, yeah, you win. Your day sucks worse.

Nancy said...

Two hour date should have some O/T involved ... bribe the sitter =)

Just Seeking said...

You so deserved those (!!) gin and tonics!
At least your dog didn't steal kid poop from the toliet and drag it around your bathroom and smoosh it on your bathroom rug---like apparently mine did---at least according to the children---who remained wide eyed and seemingly innocent the whole time they shared this fabulous explanation with me.

MamaNeena said...

I'm drinking along with you. I attempted the mall with all three kids today. Check out my blog for more info.

http://mamaneena.blogspot.com

It's a wonder we're not alcoholics.

painted maypole said...

well deserved. i hop you had 2

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I hope you took the rest of the bottle home.

Magpie said...

I was going to say that there was never a justification needed for a gin & tonic. However, I see that in fact you went for the straight GIN. And you were fully justified!

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Have two. Or three.

dkuroiwa said...

and you have a 50-50 chance of waking up tomorrow morning, with a slight "gin headache" and starting all over again!!
Here's wishing you a poop/vomit/spider monkey free day!! But go ahead and have the gin...with tonic this time..and relax!!

Audubon Ron said...

Justification for a gin anything for me.

"Oh look honey, a leaf fell."

News Flash: I listened to an NPR segment yesterday by a guy with a PHD in chemistry stating martini’s shaken and not stirred actually produce powerful anti-oxidants. I’m not kidding.

bipolarlawyercook said...

I would've needed an IV. I don't know how you do it.

andi said...

I would have justified it after only one of those incidences. Oy! But I'm a bit of an alky that way.

Sarcasta-Mom said...

I tell my husband all the time that I really deserve to drink more. lol. You definetely earned yours.

Circus Kelli said...

I hope you had two.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

My dogs always choose to have their "accidents" on the rug, rather than the ceramic tile that is all over the house.
ALWAYS!

Beck said...

Oh good grief. I hope you had two.

Bogart in P Towne said...

Hope the date went well!

Jill@Who Could Ask for Anything More said...

Amen to that. I have a G&T (or two) (with a splash of grapefruit juice and salt on the rim) every single night, and I don't even have to deal with dog poop. But I do have the toddler-clinging-to-leg.

Manager Mom said...

Make mine a double.

Life As I Know It said...

I hope you made it a double.

Shellie said...

Oh the days of the spider monkey and burnt offerings! LOL! Once I smelt smoke coming from the bathroom and it was a spiderman underwear someone threw up onto the light bulbs above the mirror.

Jennifer H said...

Miles of tile around the carpet, and my dog will poop/throw up/pee on the carpet every single time. It's like they know. Grrr.

I would have asked the babysitter to cook. :-)

I hope your date (or the gin) was relaxing.

bichonpawz said...

Cannot believe you only had one!