Thursday, May 29, 2008

I Could Just Go Amish on Your Ass

Good lord - five days with no blogging. I have been bizzy bizzy bizzy with some awesome projects that I can't wait to talk about - but not yet....
It has been a challenging week for parenting for me - and I have had several close friends tell me they're knee-deep in things, too. Sarah just had to tell her three teenagers that they were to limit their cell phone usage or she would take them away - needless to say there is a revolt in her house. When she made the rookie move of saying that when she was a kid she didn't even have a cell phone (Motherhood code UMC 41.44 states that thou shalt not bring up thine childhood to thine own offspring as they could give a rat's ass) they just gawked at her and said that if she wanted them to live like she had to as a kid they might as well "go Amish." Not a bad idea, frankly, and a slogan I just might use in my next campaign against my own rugrats.
On the home front here, my future lawyer is at it again...she and her sister have been bickering non-stop this week and yesterday Chloe thrust this into my hand....


I had to black out our last names, but for a ten year-old this girl slays me.

Okay - I am off to work on some things - but remember, as you embark on a summer home with your children - you could just go Amish on their ass.

32 comments:

Memarie Lane said...

Wish I'd thought of that when I was her age, would have saved me a lot of trouble.

Trudie said...

I put a sign on my door saying "Anyone UNDER the age of 8 is not allowed to enter this room." - when my brother just turned 8. Mind you - back in the 60's I doubt if we even knew what lawyers were.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I like it. The Amish idea, that is...

Nancy said...

I love Chloe. Future lawyer.

Can't wait to hear what you and Sonia have been hinting about!

On the flip side, I WISH someone would go Amish on my ass. No phones, no cars, no TV .. but they bake awesome pies and breads!

jakelliesmom said...

Alternately, you could take your kids on vacation to the nearest Amish group.

Your child slays me.

jakelliesmom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You need to get that girl in law school a.s.a.p.!

Erin said...

That is hilarious. The best part is it all sounds so grown up and official. It's going to kill her when she learns how to spell annoy. I think Webster should change the official spelling, though. Chloe's way has so much pizazz!

Don Mills Diva said...

She kills me! Pretty soon you'll get lots of rest because your kid will have become rich and fanous as a result of that wit!

fairytalesandmargaritas said...

So, were Jennnifer and Bob willing to sign? That cracks me up that she used your names!

Maremone said...

That is so much more sophisticated than the duck tape across the backseat :) I'll give her props and I just adore her spelling of "onnoiance".

Audubon Ron said...

That's a great restraining order. She hit all the legal points.

Mary Alice said...

I was actually on the phone with Sarah when the children's father made his announcement about no texting after 9pm. I could hear the howls of anguish......I'm totally all for going Amish on all their asses. They don't know how good they have it.

Amnesia said...

This i s almost the funniest thing I have seen in YEARS. Can I hire your 10 year old lawyer daughter?

Sunshine said...

Apparently, my BIL, who is quite a bit younger than my hubby and the next oldest brother, used to hand over "reports" when their folks would come home from a night out. He was too little to write but he'd have an entire page of scribbles of "what the brothers did to me while you were gone".

You know, if it's serious enough to put on paper, it must be bad!

flutter said...

Oh my God this is hysterical

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Holy crap, that restraing order is awesome! I hope her sister doesn't onnoi her any more.

BlondeMomBlog (Jamie) said...

My almost 6-year-old just mentioned this week she wants a cell phone. WTH? She doesn't even talk on the phone, except for to our parents and the occasional friend from school...maybe three times this year.

Amish on Your Ass...oh yeah. A little butter churning never hurt anyone.

Circus Kelli said...

Hee hee! I don't know which I like more -- "going Amish" or the Restraining Order!

Joanie said...

A future lawyer should be comfortable with your careful redacting of the document. Though I think lawyer will just be a stepping stone to ruler of the free world.

Bogart in P Towne said...

That is great...

And the Amish thing...sorta like "Amish Paradise" by Wierd Al.

Beck said...

This whole post made me laugh. My daughter has recently posted a big KEEP OUT sign on their bedroom door, which makes me laugh every time I go by. LEARN TO SPELL, KID.

andi said...

This was so awesome!

Could your daughter draft a similar restraining order for between me and my children? I need a break and at this point it's only going to happen with a legally-binding intervention.

Also, I dream of the day that I can tell my kids that, not only did I not have cell phones as a kid, there was no internet. This will surely make their heads explode.

Magpie said...

I love that. Thank you for posting.

Rima said...

I love the way she spelled "annoy." A la francaise. What a kid.

sara said...

Chloe's good. Really good. Thanks for scanning & sharing. The actual document wallops a bigger laugh than one could ever explain in words.

Di said...

I think you should make this child sign some kind of waiver guaranteeing that she will not sue you. Otherwise, the next several years will be a constant battle to avoid litigation!

Lela said...

Holy crap that is freaking hilarious! I can totally see my 7yo coming out with one of those in a few years, lol! Meanwhile my 11yo would rather just piss and moan about it!

Anna said...

OH GOD. Will it be any better because I have boys?

Daisy said...

I like the way she spelled "annoy" with an i! Keep this. Give it to her when she passes the bar.

bichonpawz said...

Sounds like the girl will definitely become a lawyer! And I have to remember that "going all Amish on your ass" quote!

painted maypole said...

but did you sign it?

;)