How many of you stay at home moms are actually home much during the workweek? Really, I want to know.
I have days where I leave with the kids in the morning to take them to school and am not back home until five or later. Obviously, I (happily) took this on when I decided to have lengthy gaps in between each kid. Which means doctor appointments almost every week (between the eyes, regular doc, teeth and skin we are covered), school activities, errands, and volunteer responsibilities. Not to mention that little thing called the writing career and the possibility of a part-time job never far from my mind. I can't imagine that every single mom who reads this isn't nodding her head and relating. I am probably describing many of your lives, as well. Let's face it, the "stay at home" mom is the busiest she's ever been.
So two things chapped me this week. One, when I went to approach several teachers about finding me a parent volunteer for a gala we're having, every single one of them told me they would have a hard time coming up with a name, since most of their moms are working. Now, I appreciate how busy these moms are. When I only had two kids, I worked a fifty-plus hour work week myself. When I look back, it's with mixed feelings, but the one thing I loved was my lunch hour. Keep in mind, I need a total of say, three hours over the next month from these potential volunteers. That's six days where they give me half their lunch hours and make some calls. If that. Plus, we are no longer at the Catholic school, which means as a family of six, we are an anomaly at this school. There are a handful of big families, but most of these parents have one or two kids. Yeah, clearly they are smarter and more evolved, I know. But my point is this - aren't we all busy as hell? Aren't we all burning the candle a little bit to get the most out of life? When the third teacher mentioned they would see which stay-at-home mom I could call, I felt so angry. Bob jokes that half the time I am an angry black man inside of a white woman's body - and that's how I felt when I saw the stereotypes being brandished with impunity at a class of women that is shrinking with each day.
Then, a woman I know asked me what I had been up to lately, and in her asking, she used the term housewife. Before I could answer, she stammered and went on and on about how sorry she was that she said housewife. Until she mentioned it, I hadn't given it a second thought and was only trying to think of anything interesting that had happened so that she wouldn't fall asleep in front of me as I described my many journeys to school in the car that week. She was so upset, that she was literally stuttering in front of me.
"I know how demeaning that term is. I know you do things and that you're smart. I didn't mean to say it."
So now being a housewife is demeaning? Argh, people - not while I am PMSing, okay? Because this week could get really long.