Happy Good Friday. Or not, depending on your faith. Although I classify myself as a liberal Christian, accepting of all faiths and the concept of universal salvation, I still have enough Catholic in me to render me guilt-plagued, worried, and trying to cover all of my bases - so to speak.
Although I went through the Catholic confirmation process, I have never been to confession. I'm not exactly sure where this leaves me in the eyes of Catholics, but when I went through the process I was very open about my pro-choice beliefs and my distrust of confessing sins to some guy who couldn't possibly relate to me...the thought of confessing sins related to my marriage and motherhood to a man who wasn't even allowed to have sex? Well...I am certain that they let me finish the program only because they figured I was a lost cause. And I happen to have belonged to a fairly liberal Catholic church at the time.
After a lengthy discussion on faith and religion, my best friend and I discussed the concept of confession. The Catholic Church has come out with a new list of deadly sins, and I have already (albeit unintentionally) committed one of them (polluting the earth). This means that if I don't confess my sins and absolve them, I will go to hell. 99.9% of me believes this to be man-made hogwash. Come on. But of course, it got me thinking - can I confess online? Check the box for confession without enduring the smarmy presence of my current church's priest? A man who annoys me so much I used to imagine kicking him in the neck - just for fun - when I had to attend Mass with the kids for school. Sorry, God. I need to add this to my list of sins.
Hey, guess what? You can. Just go to http://www.absolution-online.com/confession and you can add sins to your shopping cart. After you've reviewed your order, you proceed directly to checkout and you're given your penance.
I decided to confess online to every sin I could recall committing over the course of my life. It took me *ahem* a while to do this. You don't type your sins in, rather you find a category (venial/physical/10 Commandments) and sort through the list, selecting your transgressions as you scroll through the sins. My shopping cart was enormous, and I'm sure I missed a sin or two - 36 years of living and it all adds up. Not to mention that you had to classify to severity of your sin - Class A-D....I usually rounded up and made mine severe (As and Bs) to cover my bases.
How long do you think it will take me to complete 1,666 Hail Marys and 60 Our Fathers? Oh, and I have to fast for five weeks. I'm pretty sure those last few pounds will slide right off.
Of course, there is just enough superstitious freak in me to believe that maybe I really should do all of this, just in case (and I can break up the fast, according to the site.)
How about you? If you've never confessed a sin before, what would your penance be? Do you believe in confession as a path to absolution? Are you on the fence?
So much to think about before gorging on Cadbury Creme Eggs. Oh crap, I need to add another gluttony. And cursing. Christ.