tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post6374427805210630016..comments2023-10-15T01:12:39.385-07:00Comments on Get In The Car!: Yet Another Opportunity to Wield a Blunt Object and Flog MyselfJenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02086167716210736774noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-59391671376094296382008-03-16T14:25:00.000-07:002008-03-16T14:25:00.000-07:00When I was pregnant with #1, we took a childbirth ...When I was pregnant with #1, we took a childbirth class. One of the women in this class didn't work outside the home. She didn't have any kids, but she/they still chose to have her home taking care of that end of things. At the time, as a career woman planning to go back to work after the baby was born, I thought it was crazy. Now I have two and stay home fulltime and often wonder how we would get on without me doing so. And even though I sometimes think about going back to work parttime, I wonder how much more challenging our lives would be if I chose to do this. My two are just about to be in school fulltime and I'm still considering staying home fulltime. I think this pregnant stay-at-homer was on to something. Why not work together as a marriage team---one tackling the homefront and the other tackling the workfront? And then, we can all have time off to enjoy each other's company. I'm done proving to other women how busy I am. Since when did "busy" become synonymous with important anyway? We all deserve to live our lives the way we chose. And for us, we've decided to actually ENJOY our lives. I'll take "enjoy" over "busy" anytime.Kristi Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15749922455225303462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-43121242389708161492008-03-16T06:06:00.000-07:002008-03-16T06:06:00.000-07:00I have three kids and work fulltime, out of the ho...I have three kids and work fulltime, out of the house. I stayed home for 1 1/2 years when number three was born. It became ever so apparent that I was not cut out to stay home. When I went back to work in August of 2007, I found a job that is 12 minutes from my home. I can leave and pick up my daughter at preschool and drop her off at our sitter's house. I will be able to volunteer for things at their school when the time comes. I was working too far from home at my other job for that to be feasible. This works for us.<BR/><BR/>Working out of the house or staying home both have challenges unique to each situation. We need to support eachother as WOMEN and MOTHER's regardless of our status.<BR/><BR/>That's my two cents.Betsy, short for Elizabeth, formally known as Estherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03689307061005439040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-33808345008656544692008-03-13T11:40:00.000-07:002008-03-13T11:40:00.000-07:00I've started telling people I'm 'chief cook and bo...I've started telling people I'm 'chief cook and bottlewasher'. Yes, I think housewife is demeaning. I even think "stay at home mom" is a misnomer. But, try to tell people that you are a homeschooling mom, and 99% of them think I'm a religious fanatic who pretends she lives on Little House on the Prairie.<BR/><BR/>Beck's comment made me laugh: "yes, I am now married to my house". And, may I add, "and you should see the size of his chimney".Fairly Odd Motherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11974404093257620566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-25825467480135551872008-03-11T22:09:00.000-07:002008-03-11T22:09:00.000-07:00I'm a homeschooler, too, and at the moment I reall...I'm a homeschooler, too, and at the moment I really am home most of the time. Besides, if I have to choose a title for myself, I choose "homemaker." That is my main job, after all. I work hard all day to make my home a place where my children can learn and grow and be safe from all the yuck in the world. Granted, they are 7, 5, and 3 (and one due in 3 months) so it's easier than it will be when they get older. Even so, I want them to grow up knowing that stay-at-home moms/housewives/homemakers are extremely important, and are not to be denegrated.<BR/><BR/>I just finished reading a biography of Abigail Adams. She repeatedly affirmed her belief that the main responsibility of mothers is to create homes that are the basic foundation of society. I couldn't agree more. This is true whether you work in the home, out of the home, or a combination of both. Mothers are important, and always will be.<BR/><BR/>(okay, now I will step back down off my soapbox) :)Kelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16703334707738126703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-34507744085418031002008-03-11T18:33:00.000-07:002008-03-11T18:33:00.000-07:00Being a homeschooler who is rarely home, I get the...Being a homeschooler who is rarely home, I get the whole gone all day thing. I don't mind being called a housewife. I just don't want to be penalized in the job world for having been one.Mrs. G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01171997573144385692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-80939373102178724082008-03-11T18:04:00.000-07:002008-03-11T18:04:00.000-07:00Amen, plus your Nelson Mandela quote does sum up t...Amen, plus your Nelson Mandela quote does sum up things profoundly.Mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06588693337401747260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-78439845073121459682008-03-11T14:35:00.000-07:002008-03-11T14:35:00.000-07:00I agree with so many of you - damned if you do, da...I agree with so many of you - damned if you do, damned if you don't.<BR/><BR/>Judgment just needs to go away. Period.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02086167716210736774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-85067963244620935822008-03-11T13:13:00.000-07:002008-03-11T13:13:00.000-07:00I am with Circus Kelli on the "damned if you do an...I am with Circus Kelli on the "damned if you do and damned if you don't" wagon. I have been on both sides. I am now a stay at home mom and I have to say when I am old, gray and reliving my memories, it will be of my children, not what juicy gossip I heard at the watercooler. <BR/>And I also agree with iambeingheldhostage that the busiest women will volunteer,stay at home mom or not. I guarantee you it will not be the judgmental ones, they are too busy judging.SaraLynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15822536105739463960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-46570455211119598732008-03-11T12:28:00.000-07:002008-03-11T12:28:00.000-07:00I think there is judgment no matter which way you ...I think there is judgment no matter which way you cut it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-69674732510777962322008-03-11T10:03:00.000-07:002008-03-11T10:03:00.000-07:00I worked for a top pharmaceutical co before I had ...I worked for a top pharmaceutical co before I had kids - we were all sent to seminars periodically to further our education. One was called "Managing Personal Growth" and it dealt with what you would like to get from your dream job. I was 8 months pregnant at the time and I chose 'recognition' as something that was important to me. The leader laughed and said that I wasn't going to get much recognition in my next job (mother). She was right. Motherhood is rewarding on so many levels, but your not going to get much applause from other people, including maybe even your mate if you stay at home for a while. <BR/>I stayed at home when my kids were little - worked at night part-time. I work full time now that they are in school, and I can tell you I have faced a lot of resistance trying to volunteer at my kids' school. Organizational meetings are always at 10:00 AM, not at night, and it makes it very difficult to get involved. But I persist, because I want to be a part of things.dkazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13072562667461596506noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-5435134092500463772008-03-11T09:24:00.000-07:002008-03-11T09:24:00.000-07:00Having worked full time, part time and now just wo...Having worked full time, part time and now just working on raising the kids I'd say it feels about equal. Just a completely different balance. <BR/><BR/>We mom's who stay home and take care of ALL the house stuff, kids stuff family stuff have different free time than those who work outside the home full time. I do think part-timers have it worse than the other's. Part time work allows Moms to try and do it all, be a stay home mom and a working mom, and still do ALL the acitivities, ALL the house stuff, and the kid/family stuff. Its just too much.Moments Of Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07125803464469304079noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-8631298091887904462008-03-11T07:01:00.001-07:002008-03-11T07:01:00.001-07:00Speaking as a mum with a job and an 18month old, I...Speaking as a mum with a job and an 18month old, I've not yet got involved with school commitments and teacher expectations.<BR/><BR/>You are all so cross about this, but I'm surprised that some of you are doing so much for others and forgetting your own priorities. <BR/><BR/>Professional mums face exactly the same dilemma as mums doing paid work. Getting your work (paid or unpaid), having some fun and doing the best for your children. <BR/><BR/>The teachers are using SAHM/working mum labels as leverage to find volunteers. Bet they find other ways of laying guilt trips onto 'working' mums. <BR/><BR/>Don't fall into the trap. You are as busy as the next person and you've given up volunteering time already.<BR/><BR/>So, here's a challenge - think like a man next time you say no to a teacher's request for volunteers. Don't justify, just say 'no, can't help you with that'. Hold your breath - DO NOT SAY ANYTHING ELSE.Sasshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13697836741843809088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-44823437743460242622008-03-11T07:01:00.000-07:002008-03-11T07:01:00.000-07:00I'm a work-at-homer and I still get the excuse whe...I'm a work-at-homer and I still get the excuse when looking for other volunteers "oh, no, don't ask so-and-so...she is too busy"...it's so insulting! Like I'm not too busy????<BR/>I work, have 2 kids (one w/a disability), am on 2 boards and do the newsletter for another group??? I'm not busy!!?!?<BR/><BR/>On the other thing: I've been working from home the past 3 years now, and I couldn't imagine going back to an office. Though maybe I'm working double time now (doing all the kid things and the work things), it's on a much more flexible schedule, and our family's stress level has gone down exponentially.<BR/><BR/>Moms who work in an office 40 hours or more, still have to make sure their kids get to the doctor, they have to do the shopping, go to teacher meetings, pick up the kids when they're sick, etc. So I do believe that their lives are more stressed (I believe it because I lived it). Not more busy, but more stressed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-75968681850098852672008-03-11T05:52:00.000-07:002008-03-11T05:52:00.000-07:00I know where you're coming from b/c my mom didn't ...I know where you're coming from b/c my mom didn't work when we (8 kids) were all younger... and she worked her ass off.<BR/><BR/>I did a similiar stick-my-foot-in-my-mouth incident with a couple of home-school moms when I was a server. I joked about how they must be glad to get out of the house or something. DoH!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-71878850583718196712008-03-10T20:09:00.000-07:002008-03-10T20:09:00.000-07:00Ah, the mommy wars. All too familiar to me after ...Ah, the mommy wars. All too familiar to me after 9 years of either SAHM or working "only part time". Stereotypes and judgements only worsened by stupid TLC shows like "The Secret Life of a SoccerMom" where they take this poor unfortunate soul who sacrificed herself to stay at home with her kids, only to have Tracy Gould sweep in and dangle a made up job offer in front of SAHM in her lowly jogging suit and slippers. <BR/>I am a full time mom. That is my job. I am on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. My lunch hour and lunch dates consist of broken, interrupted conversations with mom friends (or strangers) at a fast food playland. I volunteer 16+ hours monthly at the school, yet I am one of the first moms called when they need more. Sometimes, I get angry and resentful too.... I totally get you on this one.dawn&brianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01409317208603613941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-76279766289484793602008-03-10T19:36:00.000-07:002008-03-10T19:36:00.000-07:00I think it's way more flattering that hausfrau, or...I think it's way more flattering that hausfrau, or 'hey you'flutterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11828689769747130419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-41182017069705979622008-03-10T19:00:00.000-07:002008-03-10T19:00:00.000-07:00i say you need a foot massage and some red wine an...i say you need a foot massage and some red wine and some chocolate. doctor's orders.Livhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09154719979114564561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-69369636403926995252008-03-10T18:31:00.000-07:002008-03-10T18:31:00.000-07:00So I guess this means you won't pick up my dry cle...So I guess this means you won't pick up my dry cleaning or wait in line at the DMV for me? Dayum-it.Joaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08697269747049128896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-59402468910067714262008-03-10T17:58:00.000-07:002008-03-10T17:58:00.000-07:00Motherhood and "work" is so damned if you do, damn...Motherhood and "work" is so damned if you do, damned if you don't. I've been a SAHM now for 4 years and have decided to go back to work and have been told flat out by other mothers and my son's preschool teacher that I should think twice because it will be so hard and it's "so bad" for the children. And I have also been told by my working mom friends that they don't see how I can stay home and they would be so bored and they like to use their brains.<BR/><BR/>Wh can't we all just support each other and not pass judgment on one another?Mollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14997605831348833911noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-70334327641409802492008-03-10T15:28:00.000-07:002008-03-10T15:28:00.000-07:00I much prefer housewife to SAHM. I, however, never...I much prefer housewife to SAHM. I, however, never leave my house because I don't have a car.Memarie Lanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03289584923725420572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-15848005925398452492008-03-10T15:16:00.000-07:002008-03-10T15:16:00.000-07:00Good grief. Those teachers need to be edjumacated...Good grief. Those teachers need to be edjumacated.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes we women are our own worst enemies. This constant battle of who is the better mother is such a waste of time. We should be supportive of each other instead of maintaining a stupid stereotype.<BR/><BR/>MOMS ROCK no matter what!KathyLikesPinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07390044790753392243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-53984954155852081572008-03-10T14:25:00.000-07:002008-03-10T14:25:00.000-07:00Most days I feel like I am on a dead run! Laundry...Most days I feel like I am on a dead run! Laundry, dishes, diapers, homework, groceries, yard work, our new business (I am the admin everything from the dining room) teething baby, teenagers with gf problems, school events, sports, taxes, banking...<BR/><BR/>Not a lot of "staying home" if ya ask me.Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15677486759919091018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-79596050618296105902008-03-10T14:03:00.000-07:002008-03-10T14:03:00.000-07:00I feel like I should scream 'Ya Ya!' for the siste...I feel like I should scream 'Ya Ya!' for the sisterhood.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-87076928321412123212008-03-10T13:05:00.000-07:002008-03-10T13:05:00.000-07:00It does annoy me that the moms who work out of the...It does annoy me that the moms who work out of the house seem to be getting a free pass from the teachers as far as volunteering goes. I would have been all over them on that one.<BR/><BR/>And as far as the word "housewife" being demeaning (maybe household manager would be better), whenever someone asks me if I am planning to go "back to work," I explain to them that I already have a job, thanks - and I really wasn't looking for a second one. They get really confused. It's fun.Suburban Correspondenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11488916572135296650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1668957788371173816.post-72593964288658966652008-03-10T12:32:00.000-07:002008-03-10T12:32:00.000-07:00You are spot on again! You know what I can't stand...You are spot on again! You know what I can't stand as a SAHM (and I do use the stay-at-home part loosely), it's the working women who call ME and ask ME to pick up their kid/watch their kid/take their kid... because I'm "at home anyway". ABSOLUTELY nothing against working moms(I was one too once), just THOSE particular women.<BR/>I do hope word gets out that you need these volunteers, usually the busiest women will step up to help.imbeingheldhostagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00771374087307254969noreply@blogger.com