Thursday, September 06, 2007

Philanthropy Thursday, Gift Card Give Away and Annoying Whispery Voices

I think I do like the idea of taking every Thursday (as opposed to once a month) and doing something good. The problem is, with only one cup of coffee in me and four kids plus a tagalong waiting for me to load them in the car, well, my brain hasn't woken up yet.

Yesterday we did book Chloe's appointment for Locks of Love, but that is eight days away, and I wanted PT to also be about doing small things to make the world a better place. It doesn't always have to be donating jewelry or ten+ inches of your hair. So...something small for Thursday. I just popped into the kitchen and Maddie gave me my task for today. While at the grocery store today, I am to pick up an extra bag of dog food and drop it by our local no-kill shelter. She's volunteered there before, and she just informed me that they are always needing dog food. Okay! Done! What are you going to do today? AND, just to make it interesting, I haven't had a give away in a looong time. So, out of the commenters who mention they're doing something small today, I have a $10 Amazon gift card to give away. I'll have the girls pick a number and we'll give it away tomorrow morning. Hey, who couldn't use $10??

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On another note. My best friend just informed me that she spent an excruciating two hours last weekend at a work-related barbecue hosted by her husband's co-worker and his wife. His wife was one of those women who relates best to men, sexualizes everything, and has perfected the whispery helpless voice when talking to men. You know the type? The type who doesn't have much to say to you, but you have to practically peel her off your husband's leg? Yeah. I've always known women like this, and one time, when I was forced to live across the street from a soft whispery type, my girlfriends and I decided to try an experiment.

Question: Do all men secretly like it when we talk like helpless, brain-cell damaged bimbos (think Marilyn singing Happy Birthday to JFK)?

Experiment: Talk in lilting, breathless, whispery bimbo voice to husband and gauge his response. Do this over phone so he cannot see convulsive laughter from other end.

Results: I called my husband at work, and in a barely discernible Marilyn Monroe-esque voice I asked, "Bobby? Sweetie? Can I ask you a favor?" I thought I would choke on my tongue, I sounded so ridiculous, I was certain he'd ask me if I were drunk. But. BUT. His voice deepened, he sounded concerned and willing to jump in front of a train as he answered, "Yes! Of course, baby. What do you need?" I could almost hear his shoulders pull back, his chest puffing out. Sickening. My husband, by the way, was raised by a feminist, and also calls himself one. I did this later that day, at home, and it was the same response.

If you don't believe me, TRY THIS AT HOME. You will be dumbfounded at the results. Do not harm your husband (or male co-worker or whomever) after attempting this, as it is not his fault that the Neanderthal wiring is still alive and well in his brain. He cannot help himself.

Go, be breathless and airy and see for yourself how effective this is. It is disturbing. And also? Go pay it forward today.

20 comments:

Katrina said...

I was a day early and dropped of things at Goodwill yesterday. It helps me with my closets and offers others inexpensive clothing options. Win-win, and so easy that everyone can do it.

Audubon Ron said...

Jessum Petes Jen, I am completely at a loss that you have just figured this out. Actually, somewhat disappointed. Actually, very sadden to read that you have just arrived at this conclusion.

NOT! I’m just egg’in you on. You know me, I’m Mr. Drama.

Look, it is a know fact. Call me your big, strong, handsome, master, pet me on the head, rub my belly, and I’ll fetch the newspaper for you every time.

You ought to see the disgusting things duck hens do to attract a drake. You got it easy. Let me see you bob your head up and down 100 per second and spin in a circle several times while swimming. Forget Marilyn, you got some Penny Cruz / Ester Williams thing all rapped into one. Speaking of Penny Cruz, see below in yellow bikini, Yoe Baby! When was the last time someone caught you on camera blowing buggers underwater?

http://showbiz.sky.com/showbiz/picture_gallery/0,,50001-1229299,00.html

Crystal said...

Today I dropped off some supplies for my daughter's preschool class. I not only picked up the things she needed to bring in but I doubled and sometimes tripled what the teacher asked for. Her class is in the public school and is a combination of Head Start, Special Needs, and Universal Preschool kids. I know that some of them won't be able to bring in the more expensive items and most likely the teacher will cover what is needed out of her own pocket. She did not make any thing on the supply list mandatory. Teachers do not make nearly the money they should and my Philanthropy Thursdays are going to theme around giving to the public schools.

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Hmmm. . .I'm not sure if this will count, but it's short notice! Today, I have to fast b/c I'm having my first-ever colonoscopy tomorrow. My plan was to let people know what it is like to go through the prep today, and then tomorrow to explain what the procedure is like. I'm not sure if this is truly philanthropy but my idea was that I want to ask my readers to talk to their moms, dads and other loved ones about getting a colonoscopy and perhaps helping them avoid the horrendous agony and hell of colorectal cancer that killed my dad.

crazylady said...

that's the voice I use when I want my husband to clean the toilet. He says 'yes' before the question.
Lame power, but hey I use it to my advantage. But not with other men.
I have enough fun messing up one man's brain.

good deed today? Round of coffee for the local firestation. Been meaning to do that one.

Robin said...

It's already Thursday night here. How about I try for Philanthropy Friday?

Tabba said...

hysterical! absolutely hysterical. i will most definitely try this out when the hubbers gets home.

and thank you for comment by the way ;)

Kimmykay said...

We cleaned out all the closets on Monday. I dropped off all the clothes we had collected. It was 4 trash bags of clothes and a trash bag of backpacks and books. I need to get out and do more. Thanks for the kick to do that today.

Jennifer said...

I brought cookies to my son's school today, to the principal and the teachers who helped find him yesterday when he was on the wrong bus and lost in our city. I don't know if that really counts as doing something out of the goodness of my heart though -- I am so grateful that he was found safely. It was they who were kind to me, yesterday.

As for the breathlessness. I want to say my husband will laugh me out of town. But after reading your response, I am almost scared to try!

Circus Kelli said...

Once, I admit to using my "whispery voice" powers for my own gain. The muffler on my car was dangling more than it should, and it was making a rather annoying noise. I brought it back to the muffler place I had taken it to the year before (to have the muffler replaced). I purposely opened my eyes wider, smiled a lot and dropped my voice a bit and said "Hi... you probably don't remember me, but I was in here last year..." and lo and behold, the guy DID remember me and fixed the muffler on my car in a matter of minutes while the waiting room full of really tired, frustrated looking people shot daggers through me. It was a fun little experiment that I haven't dared repeat.

Circus Kelli said...

I learned that today was Philanthropy Thursday late in the day, but I have to go to Parents Night tonight, so I'll look for an opportunity to do something good there.

painted maypole said...

I dropped off 3 bags and one box of clothes/books/shoes/household items at a local charity today! :) I also volunteered to read at the library of my daughter's school.

Wow. That bimbo experiment is both funny and disturbing. I might have to try it.

ablondeblogger said...

LOL!!! I think my husband would think I was going crazy if I tried that! But it's worth a shot, lol.

I am participating in the Alzheimer's Assocation Memory Walk and soliciting sponsors to raise money for the charity.

Blackberrie said...

OMG you are cracking me up! I cannot stand those women either. I read that section to my husband (through maniacle giggling) and all he could say was "nice". Rofl!

Kristi B. said...

I decided to let my kids pick a cause to donate to today and O wanted to do something for dolphins, her fave. So we went over to www.oceanconservation.org and adopted a dolphin!
Check it out on my post for today.
p.s. ain't no way in hell I could pull off trying that voice on my hubby! I'd laugh WAY too hard!

Anna said...

We gathered up a full bag of non-perishables last night to drop off at the church office today.
Small things, but Will was so pleased, doing it!

metalmom said...

I'm a day late, but I wasn't here for a contest anyway! I always give to Purple Heart and this year I'm donating a China cabinet to a church for a fundraising event.

I HATE women who do that breathy thing! (so does Hubs!) I have been known to open my big yap and call them on it-even in the middle of dinners and parties. Hubs says it's sexy when I say "He's mine! Back off!"

andi said...

Philanthropy Thursday? What a fabulous idea! I'm going to start next week.

Oh, and the sexy, breathy voice thing? I can only accomplish that when I have a cold. Otherwise, I'm all about the high-pitched, little-girl voice. Sigh.

Magpie said...

Philanthropy Thursday is a nice idea. There were two articles in the Times yesterday (Thursday) that you might like to read.

1) about Locks of Love and related: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/06/fashion/06locks.html?ex=1346817600&en=e6f21bec5cef8ca0&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

2) about charitable giving:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/06/business/06giving.html?ex=1346817600&en=3fbae627fb38813b&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

I use that voice whenever I want something! Amazing how he will drop everything to satisfy. Lol...

Deed for today?! Donation to local area petting farm. Figured they could use it for feed or put towards vet bills. They recently got a white tiger and he has fluid on both legs. Sad. Sweet guy.