Open Letter to Interim GAP CEO, Bob Fisher

Here it is. I had promised in an earlier post that I would write a letter to the people at GAP/Banana Republic (same company) about their wretched low-rise jeans. If you want to sign it, just add your comment at the end....

Bob Fisher, Interim CEO
The Gap, Inc.

Dear Mr. Fisher:

First, congratulations on making it this far. No one was very shocked when Paul Pressler left; maybe he should have stayed at Disney. After all, for a lot of GAP's customers, shopping for a pair of jeans was about as fun as being whipped around on Thunder Mountain after eating a $14.00 snow cone.

Which brings me, rather abruptly, to my point. Since you're in a time of flux right now, figuring out how to make more consumers "fall into the GAP, " I thought I'd put in my two cents on how to make your stores a better place to shop.Everyone wears jeans, Mr. Fisher. And while we understand that the GAP is going to continue to pander to the fashion whims of the under 21 set, you also need to consider your demographic of women, age 25-45. We're the ones paying for all these clothes, whether for ourselves or for our kids. We have money, time, and a history of brand loyalty to your store (we've been shopping there before the vacuous sales clerks you insist on employing were flirting with their first eating disorders).

All we ask for is a little diversity within your denim line. We are sick and tired of the jeans that have zippers (and I've measured) that are three inches long. Three inches. In order to effectively cover the area of the body known as the pubis, zippers need to be more in the five to seven inch range. Certainly, Mr. Fisher, you're aware of the important distinction between three and seven inches.

Have you checked out your Spring line? Are you familiar with the popular fabric, seersucker, often employed in such warm-weather clothes? Well, for women of a certain age who have used their uterus at least once, the area below our belly button very closely resembles this delightful puckered textile. We harbor no desire to, in any way, showcase this part of our body. The same goes for our oblique region (known to your younger consumers as the six pack and handles). Have you seen an angry Shar Pei puppy? Well that's what our oblique area looks like when we try to sit down in your jeans. And for the final area of our body that is prominently featured when donning a pair of your lowrise or ultra low rise jeans, well, polite company may be reading this, but you can understand that we have no wish for anyone to fall into our gap, if you catch my inference.

I appreciate your immediate attention to this matter,

Your Customer Since 1986,

Jennifer M.
(and friends)