Thursday, January 03, 2008

And Mom and Dad Can Hardly Wait...

Oh most blessed day of the new year, we give you thanks.

We thank you for children who now have to be wakened early, fed, dressed and taken to school where they might reside for hours, away from me. We thank you for a morning free of bickering, devoid of whining, and clear of the pitiful sounds of boredom. In the name of the father, amen.

After Christmas I acquiesced to the girls' requests for sleepovers with friends. At our house. In a bold, unprecedented move, I even agreed to the coveted back to back sleepover for my oldest.

That's right. A two nighter. At our house. Pretty much the brass ring of sleepovers.

On the second night, after I had dutifully threatened Maddie and her friend with bodily harm if they didn't turn in by 10:30, I came downstairs at eleven to warn them to be quiet and to turn the lights out.

Maddie, with a chunk of Christmas chocolate in her hand the size of the dog's head nodded my way and said something along the lines of, "yeah."

At 12:45, when I could tell they were still awake, I again stomped downstairs.

I entered Maddie's room and this time she held a jumbo box of junior mints in her hand. When I pushed open her bedroom door, both girls glanced at me, wild-eyed with fatigue and sugar poisoning.

"Maddie, I am turning the lights out now. This is ridiculous."

"Mom! We can't go to bed. It's too hot."

"Yeah, too hot," mumbled her flunky.

I told her it wasn't too hot, but that she was high on sugar and needed to set the box down. It was like dealing with a junkie.

She rushed to me, shaking the junior mints in the box and rattled the candy in my face.

"Oh yeah?? Let's just see how much sugar is in here, okay?"

Good times. All I can say is her friend's presence saved her life. And now back to school is saving mine.

Amen.

22 comments:

Madame Queen said...

I said the other day that if we hadn't gone on our trip over the Christmas break that someone would have been eaten!

Also, I second that Amen and raise you a Hallelujah!

Life As I Know It said...

Thanks for giving me a glimpse into my future.
I will try my best to delay the sleepover stage for as long as humanly possible.

You are a good woman.

Kathryn said...

A two day sleepover? WOW! You deserve the Mother of the Year award for that. I can't imagine. Bah!

Anonymous said...

I would have offered to tuck them in nice and tight with several therapeutic ice packs and an electric fan. Oh, the horrors of detox.

Mrs. G. said...

You know, if held just right, a Junior Mints' box can pack a pretty mean wallop upside the head...a highly satisfying thwack. Don't ask me how I know this.

Mary Beth said...

One of my favorite commercials is for Staples where the father is dashing through the store singing It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. But it only shows for back-to-school in the fall.

the dragonfly said...

For me, as a kid, the best sleepover was when we slept at my house one night and another house the next, and sometimes another house the next. Insanity...but at least the parents only had to deal with one night! :)

Rima said...

You're brave, woman.

Hopefully her friend's parents will reciprocate with a two-nighter, as well.

suburbancorrespondent said...

We've banned sleepovers. I need to sleep. And I need a functional child in the morning. I just can't do it.

And I can't help thinking I would have reacted as mrs. g. did.

Mary Alice said...

Yeah...sleepovers bite the big one. When they are young they are all hopped up on sugar...when they're older they'll try to sneak around and meet up with boys and drink berry wine coolers...not that I ever did that or anything...I am just saying, I didn't fall off the turnip truck last night.

Yesterday when my kids went back to school, I had this overwhelming, almost giddy, sense of happiness. I heart teachers so much.

Family Adventure said...

I hear ya. I was actually thinking about a third night in a row for my eldest, but night 2 made me reconsider. Big time.

Heidi

flutter said...

I might have had to set her on fire with my mind.

flutter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jennifer said...

Stories like this give me hives.

amanda said...

You are a brave woman with an amazing amount of restraint. My mother never was one for our friends sleeping over and only less enthusiastic about us sleeping somewhere else. It happened few and very far between. However, one could be assured that she would have carefully packed up my friend, called her parents, taken her home, and then grounded me. I am impressed that you did none of the above and did not strangle your daughter with the then empty junior mint box.

jen said...

now i am duly terrified for future sleepovers.

crazylady said...

Nevah evah going to happen here....

Somebody write that down to flash in my face someday.

bermudabluez said...

Mother of the Year it IS for you! Holy Cow! You are one very brave woman!

Circus Kelli said...

Hee hee... Back to back sleepovers and everyone lived to tell about it? You are Mom of the Year. :)

Audubon Ron said...

Funny.

painted maypole said...

ha ha. MQ was supposed to go back to school last thursday but the heater at the school broke. I tried really hard not to cry at the news when her teacher called to tell me.

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

Man, you just opened my eyes to what I'm headed toward. And I'm scared.