Oh most blessed day of the new year, we give you thanks.
We thank you for children who now have to be wakened early, fed, dressed and taken to school where they might reside for hours, away from me. We thank you for a morning free of bickering, devoid of whining, and clear of the pitiful sounds of boredom. In the name of the father, amen.
After Christmas I acquiesced to the girls' requests for sleepovers with friends. At our house. In a bold, unprecedented move, I even agreed to the coveted back to back sleepover for my oldest.
That's right. A two nighter. At our house. Pretty much the brass ring of sleepovers.
On the second night, after I had dutifully threatened Maddie and her friend with bodily harm if they didn't turn in by 10:30, I came downstairs at eleven to warn them to be quiet and to turn the lights out.
Maddie, with a chunk of Christmas chocolate in her hand the size of the dog's head nodded my way and said something along the lines of, "yeah."
At 12:45, when I could tell they were still awake, I again stomped downstairs.
I entered Maddie's room and this time she held a jumbo box of junior mints in her hand. When I pushed open her bedroom door, both girls glanced at me, wild-eyed with fatigue and sugar poisoning.
"Maddie, I am turning the lights out now. This is ridiculous."
"Mom! We can't go to bed. It's too hot."
"Yeah, too hot," mumbled her flunky.
I told her it wasn't too hot, but that she was high on sugar and needed to set the box down. It was like dealing with a junkie.
She rushed to me, shaking the junior mints in the box and rattled the candy in my face.
"Oh yeah?? Let's just see how much sugar is in here, okay?"
Good times. All I can say is her friend's presence saved her life. And now back to school is saving mine.