Sunday, July 29, 2007

God Doesn't Hate MY Vagina

Last week I read a blog over at The Huffington Post that was so absurd I couldn't believe it. I think the author was either a crackhead, or just trying to be Ann Coulter-ish and get a rise by being completely incendiary for the sake of pissing people off. In fact, I believe it's a little of both, because I looked for the post tonight, and couldn't locate it; it seems that the good people over at HP have the good sense I thought they did and removed it.

The blog purported to have solid evidence that God hates vaginas. That God, as evidenced by the world's major religions, hates women, hence our loathsome, naughty girlie parts, and that if you had the stones to call yourself a lover of God, then you absolutely, unequivocally could not call yourself a feminist.

Geeze.

What really got me about the whole piece? It was a piece of crap. Using marginally readable writing skilz, this woman used a few out-of context quotes and antiquated rules from some major religions to "prove" her assertion. Well, cripes. I could take enough stuff out of context from the Torah, The Bible and The Koran and prove to you that God is in fact an eggplant. How this woman could skew the love of God to make such an idiot claim and get it published on The Huffington Post is beyond me.

Sure, there are many, many instances of misogyny in just about every major religion out there. But, uh, der. When were these great religions founded and their books written? In the time of the Great Feminist Rising? In a cultural context that valued women? Nooooooo. Can I venture a guess that maybe people (namely those people with the considerably less repulsive naughty parts according to our Lord and Savior) are the ones who misinterpreted and screwed up religion, and that God plays no part in our idiocy?

I get so tired of the extremism that seems to be so de rigeur these days. It makes my head hurt.

I'm pretty sure I can love God and call myself a proud, Gloria-lovin' feminist.

I know, because my vagina said so.

13 comments:

Robin said...

And when your vagina talks, people listen. Oh wait, that might have been E.F. Hutton... Oops. My bad.

I stumbled across a blog the other day called "Families Against Feminism". I was stunned speechless.

I will just never understand how people can be so insecure in their beliefs as to feel threatened by the choices OTHER people make...

Mary Alice said...

Hummm…… this reminds me of a conversation I had with a learned friend recently, who had been listening to the talks of Neil Douglas Klotz on the Lords Prayer. Neil Douglas Klotz studied Aramaic - the language Jesus would have spoken - and translates the Lord’s Prayer from Aramaic. The words we have learned as “Our Father” are more accurately translated from Aramaic as Divine Parent, or Mother Father, Divine Unity, or Birther of the Cosmos……Sounds like a sincere possibility of divine va-hay-jay to me.

Anna said...

Sounds like a new lobby just waiting to form...

Vaginas for God!

andi said...

Ah ha ha. That's hilarious. If he hates vaginas so much, why did he create them in the first place?

Audubon Ron said...

I agree with you. BUT, the fact is, women take a pretty bad beating in the major religions. Not sure why. Even in the Garden, God said to Adam, “Who told you you were naked? Did you eat of the fruit I forbid you to eat?” To which Adam replied, “She’s the one, she made me eat, that woman you sent here is defective!” To which, Eve flipped Adam the middle finger and said, “OMG, like, little ole me wrestled your big butt to the ground, stuck my knee in your chest and said EAT THAT! WHATEVER!”

I ask you, so what’s changed? If it comes as any consolation, those were the first sinful words Adam spoke.

Now me, I happen to like Virginia. Pretty country.

Brat said...

Thank GOD I'm not the only one who has a talking vagina!
.

nutmeg said...

Who in their right mind would ever WANT to be Ann Coulterish?! My vagina hates her!

theghelertertwins.blogspot.com said...

The Va-jay roars in my house... ha ha....

Lorelai said...

It is crack heads like that who make those of us who are conserative, God loving women look bad. Woo Hoo for me...the God loving conserative who loves MEN, does not worship Gloria S., AND LOVES her vagina and SEX!

lolol

Jessie said...

the only explanation is that she did it for the lulz, there is no other way that someone in their right mind would write that without it being a joke.

BOSSY said...

God Hates Vaginas? Hmmmm. Bossy isn't sure, but the Yeast Infection may be initial proof...

Absolutely Bananas said...

It just goes to show that there are some REAL morons out there! Thanks to your va-jay-jay for clearing this matter up!! ;)

Brillig said...

EXCELLENT post! My mom is a historian/scriptorian--and QUITE the feminist--who has done extensive research (which has been extensively published!) on how early Christianity was shaped by a few evil misogynists who changed various verses in the Bible to have it say what they wanted it to say about women. Horrifying, because it was then taken as scripture! People need to know that those phrases are the work of MEN, NOT GOD!

And if the author of the article you site had done ANY research at all, my mother's publications would have shown up, and ruined her theory...

(also, I'm trying to comment on your most recent post, but the comments are turned off--is that on purpose?)