Thursday, May 17, 2007

Birthday Party Crazies And Mini Skirts

It is going to be one interesting day. Today my oldest son turns five (whaaa!) and we decided a few days ago that we would have an impromptu BBQ tonight with "just a few friends" to celebrate. Last year's carnivale was a little over the top, so we thought we'd keep it simple this year so the kids don't expect a huge bash every birthday. We wrote no invitations, rented no bouncy houses or face painters, and when my husband I sat down yesterday to calculate who is coming tonight, we counted....44 people. Yikes. Between Jacob inviting his pre-k, our casual mentioning of it to friends, etc., and everyone saying they could make it (which never happens), we've got ourselves a rager on our hands. I'll take pictures and write about it tomorrow, I'm sure there will be something worth posting.On another note, I was talking to my awesome friend, Alice, yesterday. She had sent me a hilarious e-mail detailing her battle with one of her teenage daughters over skirt length. In sum, if you asked Alice's daughter, she would tell you that Alice is the only mother in the Boston area that doesn't allow her daughter to wear crotch-baring mini skirts. All the other girls in her junior high are allowed to wear cutoff skirts so short, the pockets hang below the hem. Alice is probably going to be carted away by Child Protection Services any minute because what she is doing constitutes child endangerment, abuse, and neglect (of the teen girl's soul). We were brainstorming as to how we could deal with things like this in the future, when I recalled how lately, reverse psychology (used sparingly) has been working on my 'tween. I was ready to nag Maddie to get her vocabulary done correctly the other day, as opposed to just done. I just didn't have it in me to engage, so I looked at her and told her to just go outside and play, that it was no big deal if she turned her work in wrong, because who cares about school, right?"Mo-om. Whatever. I'm not done." And she proceeded to finish her vocab and correct it without argument.So Alice, here's what you do. Start acting really excited about all the trashy clothes that are out there right now. Walk around in your own little version of a Britney re-hab ensemble, and cut a pair of her old jeans into the shortest skirt you can manage. Then you hand it to her in the morning and say, "Lucia, wear this one! Look how short it is! You can see everything, isn't that cool?! I hear that labia is the new black."And watch her come downstairs in an ankle-length skirt.

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