What Men Want

The following was cut and pasted from an email exchange with an old and dear friend of mine from high school. She happens to be single, I happen to be a happy woman who has been married for nearly all of her adult life. I realize, I am jaded. You, of course, realize that this is just a list for God's sake. Just another list on another mommy blog. So don't get too worked up. BUT if you have something to add, please add it.

1. Men want to be mothered.
2. By a slut. A cheerleader slut.
3. But you can't be a slut in public or during the day.
4. During the day you are:
a. attractive
b. wholesome
c. domestic
d. intelligent, yet under the radar with your observations
e. witty, and same caveat as "d"
f. well-groomed (which should look "natural and effortless" yet require massive work unbeknownst to them)
g. Happy
h. low-maintenance
i. Excited to see them under any circumstances
j. horny
k. ambitious yet not competitive, ready to happily subvert your goals should a conflict arise
l. willing to make it all about them
m. a good listener (see "l")
5. In private, during the evening you are:
a. horny
b. all about them
c. funny
d. domestic
e. horny
f. You have been waiting ALL day to give them a blow job. In fact, it's all you thought about.
6. Oh, and you were really, really hard to get and many other men wanted you. Men need to hunt.