I called Bob this morning. He's home manning the fort while I am here in Delaware visiting my friend and her family.
Men get all the credit. It's just wrong. Bob had brought Jack into the office for a meeting, and he was in the bullpen of the finance office when a woman asked him, "Why do you have young Master Jack with you today?"
He explained where I was and she stopped, her jaw practically unhinged and on the floor. By this point, several other women had stopped their work to listen (I should add the vast majority of his employees are women).
"You mean to tell me that you are taking care of the four kids by yourself while your wife is away on vacation alone?"
Bob nodded. His sphincter was already tightening for the verbal ass-kicking he knew was inevitable after relaying this exchange to me.
"You are the most awesome husband ever."
Good times. How may times over the course of the years have I gone it alone with the kids? How many have you? For me, it easily adds up to a year. Seriously. How many times has someone stopped me in the store, all four kids in tow, and complimented my multi-tasking prowess? Um, none. How many times do the women at Bob's office practically hump his leg over what a great daddy he is if he brings one of the kids in? Oh, a million.
You just know one of those Bettys are waiting for me to die in a plane crash on the way home.
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About Me
- Jen
- Mother of five. Two girls - three boys. Fully understand why some animals eat their young. Love kids dearly but am often at a loss as to how to wade the murky waters of female adolescence. I'm an American girl living in Abu Dhabi while my husband works here for a bit. This makes the teenage thing EVEN BETTER.
28 comments:
I hate this double standard BS myself.
Who does all the pie graphs and charts so hubby knows where they are at all times? Who gets enough laundry done ahead so that he won't have to do any and four kids will have clothes?
And my MIL has them over to their place for ALL MEALS so hubby doesn't have to do any cooking while I'm gone either.
And he is SO GREAT to take care of the kids while I go away somewhere.
Yeah, it reeks, I TOTALLY hear you on this one.
Meh. Guys get crapped on in other ways that women don't. Concentrate on the fabulousness of vacation ahhhhhh vacation.
ha ha. it is so true. my husband does let me go away, too, and is very good at watching MQ so I can go out. And when anyone calls it babysitting I give them an earful.
Oh, yeah. I've been there. The thing that always gets me is when I'm away, my husband manages to spend practically the entire time he's "alone" with the kids at a friend's house or over at his mom's. There is not one meal cooked/eaten at home. That's what I call "roughing it!"
I know, I know. Where to begin? Argh.
Ohhh I hear you loud and clear. My husband goes away all the time "on business" and I have been away from our children, who are now 17 and 14, ONCE. To attend my mother's funeral. What is wrong with that??
From the other side however.....
When my wife is away (which isn't all that often) it's like she wants to arrange the calvary to come in and help. That's ok dear, I'm perfectly capable of handling it on my own.
Ahhh -- it is only because these women KNOW their significant others wouldn’t be able to pull it off AT ALL that they get all squishy wet when they see someone who appears (through the art of cleverly coordinated illusion) to be handling it with grace. Now, I have no doubt Bob is doing a bang up job following through with your carefully orchestrated plans -- and I am certain he didn’t divulge the lists made or the “friend back-up” which you undoubtedly have coordinated ”just in case” They only see what is before them and what they so desperately want to believe. Well, let them believe it. You, Jen M. are married to SuperMan!
*gasp*
Daddy can do all THAT? Four kids? The wife away on vacation?
*smirk* I bet 2 hours after you were gone, he was reminded that you are priceless!
Enjoy your vacation =)
OMGGGGGGGGGGGg i KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's expected of us, as mothers, but not so expected of the fathers. It's insanity, I say!
xoxo
This is SO true. My husband & I have taken turns being the stay-at-home parent & HOW DIFFERENT people's reactions have been to this. People mostly hailed him as an incredible hero (& truthfully, I think he is pretty special), although there were a few who definitely thought he was some sort of loser 'making' his wife work while he stayed home. Meanwhile, I find in my new university-high-powered-NEastern community that when I reveal that I am currently an at-home mom, most reactions are "Uh..." Folks are seemingly unconfortable & unable to converse with me further. "Hero" rarely seems to come into their thoughts.
Painted Maypole is spot on too: When has anyone ever asked a mom if she was 'babysitting' her own kids? I am quick to say to people who say that of men, "Ahhh, it's called PARENTING."
OK, sorry to be the dissenting voice, but I get a lot of people complimenting me on handling it alone so frequently. Why is that? Maybe it's because I always look like I haven't brushed my hair in three days.
But, yeah, they are waiting for your plane to crash.
Oh, totally.
I know what you mean... I leave for a few days for a WORK CONFERENCE and I hear how I'm *leaving them*. Hubs leaves FOR FUN ON HIS MOTORCYCLE for a week or more and it's no big deal.
I've always joked that my husband is "just a baby sitter" - I know what you mean. See ya.
but what do you mean??? of COURSE he's amazing! he's WATCHING THE KIDS! ALONE! We NEVER do that!
all hail the king.
(whatever, sister..i hear you!)
Well, after all, he is babysitting. Ha. Hope you're having fun.
I don't go out of town but I will periodically take a night out with the girls. Inevitably someone will ask who's home with the kids. If I say my husband (their father), the common response is, "oh it is so nice of him to babysit so you can get out!" BABYSIT! I hate that. My response, "he is not babysitting, he is parenting."
I find it exceptionally funny when someone says things like that, and I usually come up with something flipant, "I know, you'd think he's their daddy the way he acts..."
Good God, their FATHER is "babysitting" for them ALL ALONE??!!
Yep, I hear ya. ;)
Totally a double standard! With four kids, you DESERVE a break. Go party and have fun! I, for one, am jealous!
Hump his leg? I'm dying here. You're killing me!
Oooooh... I *so* know where you are coming from. That is awful. And the worst thing - that the praise usually comes from other women. Argh! Killer!
Heidi
Yep...I remember traveling on a plane with children and their car seats in tow. Great fun balancing one child on my knee, so that I could strap the car seats in (allowing the other child the freedom to unpack the snacks in my carryon). And how I enjoyed the passengers' sighs and impatient huffs while flight attendants stood over me observing. My husband took the same flight alone with the kids and people jumped up to help him from the check-in desk all the way to the plane. Even the flight crew was happy to see him and offered crayons to the little darlings--
Bless you and your blog, your tales are my bright spot of the day.
Hump his leg?? TOO funny!
My favorite is when someone asks if my Hubby is "babysitting", to which I promptly respond, "NO. He's PARENTING."
This happens to my hubs all. the. time. Seriously. He takes the boys to the store and every woman between the ages of 15 and 95 fawns all over him as if he's the second coming. These are the same women who would mow me and the boys over with the cart without a second thought if I looked like I was going to touch a stalk of celery they wanted in the produce section.
I've been telling this story all over town. I LOVE this story---for it's humor, for it's truth, sigh, for of us moms.
And the crazy thing is? I feel the need to organize EVERYTHING for super capable involved husband when HE is alone with them (stage the clothes, pack the diaper bag, organize the snacks and so on.)
WHY?!!!!
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