Monday, November 05, 2007

Breaking News

AP - In a shocking twist in the investigation to uncover the true identity of the author Get in the Car! reporters have unearthed facts more disturbing than the initial allegations.

Reporters first learned of the suspicion that Get in the Car! was actually penned by a 46 year old man when anonymous tips rolled into our office. Posts like this made readers suspect that a mother of four would not actually be this gross. Additionally, posts like this confirmed in the minds for many readers that fraud was afoot.

"Sane women don't go around wondering would it would be like to pose for Playboy after having had four kids. It's just, well, weird," said a source close to the blog.

"She uses words like 'vagina' or 'labia' way too much, and she curses like a trucker sometimes. Ladies don't do that. We all know this is the work of a perverted mind. Obviously it's some guy living in his mom's basement," replied another concerned citizen who asked only to be identified as Joan.

This fledgling reporter has stunning news. In a bizarre series of anonymous tips, many of which were telephone messages with the sounds of screaming children in the background, the author of this blog has been found. Unfortunately, due to her participation in NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo for November, she has been rendered mute.

Here is a transcript of our encounter:

Reporter: Is it true that you are not speaking today because you have simply run out of words due to your participation in NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo?

Author: Bzhhmmm.

Reporter: Do you think it somewhat presumptuous to think that you can come up with a minimum of 50,000 words by November 30? Are you aware that the average novel is 70,000 words long?

Author: Hmmmmmfthhh.

Reporter: Can we assume that you will be ready to speak to the press about your absurd blog entries after the month of November has passed?

Author: Jghhhh.....

This post is a part of Painted Maypole's Monday Mission....to accept, go over and read her rules....

19 comments:

Audubon Ron said...

That's funny. Thanks for the giggle. For a minute there I thought I did something wrong. I for one know you're an upstanding all American genuine citizen.

Rimarama said...

Ha!

I always thought your blog was written by Dave Barry.

Christine said...

this monday missions are cracking me up! good job here.

Jen M. said...

I love Painted Maypole's Monday Missions...

If anyone reads this, I have removed a bunch of page elements to speed up my blog load time. If you noticed that it's easier to load the blog, would you let me know? Thanks

Lela said...

Hahaha, I am hitting wordless mode as well. I'm inventing more ways to answer with blank stares...

painted maypole said...

very very funny! as if I would expect anything less. Thanks for playing along!

Emily said...

Hahahaha.

I didn't sign up for NaBloPoMo. There are just so many words in my head and so many minutes I have to type them.

Good luck in your continued quest!

Jennifer said...

Too funny!

AnotherMomCreation said...

That was very funny! Although, I think all these things make you honest not male...

Mrs. G. said...

I'm feeling your pain over here at Derwad. This is what happens when I put myself under any kind of creativity deadline...instant death of inspiration.

Hang in there. Funny post.

Carrie said...

Where do you come up with this stuff?! That was too funny, thanks for the laugh!

Fantastagirl said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting... we love to geo-cache - just don't do it very often. now, I'm off to read.

thirtysomething said...

Hahahaha! This was great!
Thanks for the visit to my blog and the nice comment, too by the way.:)
Your blog loaded very rapidly, I noticed.
I admire those of you taking on the challenge of this November posting conquest. I simply don't have it in me.

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

Ha ha ha! You're hilarious!!

Esme said...

Thanks for coming by my blog! I am loving yours... I'll be back!

bermudabluez said...

Great Job! And, I love your writing style...humor is always good for the soul.

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

To be original in my comment (or not), Ha! You are hilarious! Love this post!

crazymumma said...

I love that you swear like a trucker and use words like labia.

makes me feel right at home.

dawn224 said...

I will totally be posting parts of my NaNoWriMyA$$Off story this month, I encourage you to do the same!