AP - In a shocking twist in the investigation to uncover the true identity of the author Get in the Car! reporters have unearthed facts more disturbing than the initial allegations.
Reporters first learned of the suspicion that Get in the Car! was actually penned by a 46 year old man when anonymous tips rolled into our office. Posts like this made readers suspect that a mother of four would not actually be this gross. Additionally, posts like this confirmed in the minds for many readers that fraud was afoot.
"Sane women don't go around wondering would it would be like to pose for Playboy after having had four kids. It's just, well, weird," said a source close to the blog.
"She uses words like 'vagina' or 'labia' way too much, and she curses like a trucker sometimes. Ladies don't do that. We all know this is the work of a perverted mind. Obviously it's some guy living in his mom's basement," replied another concerned citizen who asked only to be identified as Joan.
This fledgling reporter has stunning news. In a bizarre series of anonymous tips, many of which were telephone messages with the sounds of screaming children in the background, the author of this blog has been found. Unfortunately, due to her participation in NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo for November, she has been rendered mute.
Here is a transcript of our encounter:
Reporter: Is it true that you are not speaking today because you have simply run out of words due to your participation in NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo?
Reporter: Do you think it somewhat presumptuous to think that you can come up with a minimum of 50,000 words by November 30? Are you aware that the average novel is 70,000 words long?
Reporter: Can we assume that you will be ready to speak to the press about your absurd blog entries after the month of November has passed?
This post is a part of Painted Maypole's Monday Mission....to accept, go over and read her rules....