Jesus God I am so Hungry

I have been slacking big time with the exercise. It has been sporadic at best since Halloween, which is a lot different from my usual five days a week workout schedule.

I got a little cocky and thought that since I typically eat quite a bit and don't gain weight that I could let the workouts slide while I concentrate most of my free time on writing. What I didn't take into account is the only reason that I could eat like a trucker was because I was burning it all off every day. Sitting at the computer while editing chapter twenty-six isn't going to burn off a bathtub sized portion of Thai peanut noodles.

Still, I was in denial for a bit. My jeans were snug, my shirts strained at the buttons, and all I could think was my damn dryer was on the fritz and shrinking everything. But the spillage and straining got to a point where finally I realized I was gaining some weight. It's not a lot, but I wear my clothes fairly fitted, so even five or eight pounds (my guess is it's more like eight) makes a big difference.

I don't trust myself with portion control, and the thought of weighing my food freaks me out, so I went and loaded up on a cart full of Weight Watchers frozen "food." Yeah, it's not really food. It's frozen flavored air, and let me tell you - twenty points a day?? I could eat twenty points in a typical meal. But I've been sick AND busy writing, so I know that hitting the gym while the kids are at school isn't an option until my bronchial issue clears up. Hence the diet.

I've been eating this "food" for a few days now and staying strictly within my points allotment. Yes, I can already see a difference. But holy mother of our sweet baby Jesus I am hungry ALL THE TIME. It's all I can think about.

Yesterday I bought Chloe a pack of sugar-free fruit flavored gum. I unwrapped a piece for myself and OH MY LORD I felt like I was eating creme brulee with a side of happiness. I sat in the car and chewed piece after piece of gum while my daughter stared at me like I was eating my own legs. And we wonder why diets don't work? Uh, it's because in order to lose weight by dieting alone you can't eat anything. I also think it's why so many American women are bitchy. It's the dieting. The minute I stop hacking up a lung I am back on the elliptical machine and lifting weights and eating real food again. And for anyone out there willing to shell out the big bucks for a diet program - save your money and go ride a bike. Then come home and have a grilled panini and some soup. Something good and real.

Have a good MLK day and tomorrow I pick a winner for the Kate Spade bag!